Back From The Frozen Tundra

I tried posting on my way out of town earlier this week, but I do not know what happened to my draft.

This week was our annual 6th grade trip to Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center. Of course, it had to be one of the coldest weeks that we have had this winter (if you can call it winter). It also actually snowed while we were down there. Overall, it was a good week. I would say it gets better each year I go. This was my 4th year going. I'm lucky to have a good group of colleagues that go along with! My stomach muscles are sore from laughing :) I also have some sore back and arm muscles from doing the high ropes courses four times. I also led a night hike and ran into a tree branch and have a lovely scratch on my face. Joe was not surprised when I told him I got hurt. I am glad to be back to my boys :)

Another Disappointment

I had my beta yesterday, and it was a BFN, like I thought it was going to be. I think the timing of this cycle was off, since I should have had my IUI on Christmas, but had to have it a day earlier.


We are going to take some time off TTC. My job has been so stressful lately, which is not helping any of this. I almost had a mental breakdown yesterday at the end of the day. I was on medication for post-partum depression after my DS was born, but went off it when we were TTC. I think after all this disappointment, I may need to go back on it. We may wait to start again in the summer, when the stress from teaching is not present. In the meantime, I am going to be looking for a second opinion. I would like to see if a new RE would have any other answers to why things are not working. If IVF is the only option, then we know our journey will be done. A new house and a 4 year old in preschool and daycare does not work with spending that much money on something that is not a guarantee. I would feel guilty going into further debt, and having my son not be able to enjoy the opportunities we could be providing him. Who knows if that is what I will feel months from now, but it is what I am feeling now.

Still Waiting...A Little Sad, Too.

I have been doing well this week not thinking about my beta on Friday. The first two days back at work make me want to be on break again! They have gone pretty well, but I am missing my sleeping in, my pajamas, Jake, and my naps. Clearly, I caught up on some sleep last week! I have been feeling fine all week. I am trying not to read into any symptoms I am having because they could also mean that AF is coming. I don't know if it is better that I think about it, or just keep it out of my mind. I don't want to get my hopes up and be crushed, so I am just trying to not make a big deal about it.

I am sad today. A dear friend of mine is moving away. She is just moving south of the Cities, but it feels like she is going to be a state away. I know this new adventure is what she and her family need, but I am going to miss just hopping into the car with Jake to go and have a quick lunch date or play date. I know we will still see each other, but it may not be as much. Over the past few years, life has caused some of my friends and I to grow apart. This particular friend has been there though everything. I think back to college and laugh at the fact that we didn't like each other because our mutual friends were at odds. Then, we had a whole year of classes together and realized we were crazy to not be friends. Now, 13 years later, we were bridesmaids in each others weddings and we have kids who are going to be lifelong friends. My star buddy! Cannot wait to take this journey with you!